We are in such times, that it is more important than ever, to understand that we are enough.
I have lived my life up until a few years ago, with the feeling of never being good enough. The yard sticks by which my life had been measured, I now realize were false and absolutely ridiculous, but of course it took me nearly a lifetime to understand that those measurements were created by someone other than myself.
The programming that started for each and every one of us the moment we came into being, combined with the expectation of others, society and even our parents were always and forever their projections onto us, but were never US.
The desire to be perfect…perfect children, perfect students, perfect employees, and perfect parents didn’t do me any good at all! I finally came to understand this was all an illusion and with that of course, came the heart breaking knowledge that I had been set up for failure from the word go.
I will admit that I was one of those people who spent a good part of my early life blaming everyone else for those failures. I can say from experience, this anger, constant feeling of inadequacy, and the desire to please others, genuinely held me back from finding my true self. I felt if I pleased everyone else it would all be alright and through that mindset, lost track of my individuality.
An example of this would be blaming my father for abandoning me after my parents divorced when I was five years old. Then I blamed my mother whom I felt emotionally abandoned by, because she lived a life of illness that started in her youth and followed her relentlessly throughout her life in one form or another.
Through the years I slowly began to understand that we all have struggles, some seen and many unseen. Once I released the emotions, the distorting fog lifted and I could see things quit differently! I saw that she is the strongest person I have ever known and worked against every obstacle to keep us together, all the while making sacrifices I could never have imagined to keep me safe and instill some sense of normalcy in our otherwise, chaotic life.
When I first became aware of this life altering realization, I was overwhelmed to say the least. It took years to accept responsibility for my own thoughts, emotional reactions, and feelings. I had lived a life where my emotions ruled everything I did. Often times those out of control emotions led me to make choices a secure, emotionally mature – clear thinking person would never make.
Facing yourself and asking the question “Who am I really” opens up the opportunity to explore yourself quietly from within. What we find inside is most certainly uncomfortable, but as we grow to understand that we are enough – the veil slowly lifts and we can see, feel and explore the world in a new way.
My big take away was that while anger, frustration, and insecurity ruled my life, there was no room for love, compassion, gratitude, or forgiveness.
Please feel free to share your moments of awakening. You never know who’s life you may touch along the way.
Blessing to you!
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THE SPLENDOR OF IT ALL 