The word itself evokes numerous thoughts, feelings and often times a complete shutdown.
I understand firsthand what it means to forgive, but equally understand why some people simply cannot forgive something done to them or another close to them.
There is an invisible cloak wrapped around us all when we hang onto anger, this cloak serves to protect us, but can also smother us and keep us from reaching any type of inner peace/happiness.
I want to be very clear here, just because you forgive someone, doesn’t mean you have to forget or that you excuse the behavior that led to the action. Forgiveness is about YOU, not them. You must understand that forgiveness CAN happen even if others are unable to admit to any wrong doing. Again, it’s about your healing, not theirs. It’s about you taking back your power over you!
Forgiveness simply put, is the decision to let go of anger, resentment, and other thought forms such as sadness and confusion. These negative thoughts we associate with people or past situations in our lives can form such deep roots within, that often times we don’t even recognize that we are carrying them around, because we tend to associate them with everything going on externally and neglect to understand it really is something from within that manifests outward given enough time.
I had to take a good look in the mirror myself several years and ago and was faced with making the hard decisions about what I needed to change in my life in order to enjoy healthier relationships, feel less stress and anxiety, enjoy a body that wasn’t being beaten down all the time, and lastly, improve my overall outlook about life before all that negative energy swallowed me up – It was my ‘SNAP OUT OF IT’ moment and it was unimaginably humbling.
I had to learn that there was no way to move forward when I was being weighted down by the past. I had to convince myself that no matter what duty, responsibility, or obligation I felt toward others, I had to put myself first.
I had to give myself permission to detach from people who projected their negativity outward, because my loving heart always wanted to heal them and once I realized I could not save anyone but myself, this detachment became slightly easier. I will add that your perspective does change when you are no longer standing in an energy draining cesspool.
There are a number of ways one can begin this healing path to forgiveness and I encourage anyone who doesn’t feel able to manage this on their own, to seek out some type of support to help you navigate the emotions that will undoubtedly surface during the process.
I will share my personal experience though and say that in the beginning I had a good idea what my issues were, but I just wasn’t able to process them in a constructive way. I tried therapy for a little while, but ultimately it was my own curious nature that lead me to so many books, which I ferociously devoured one by one. No one book offered all the answers, but I was able to take bits and pieces from the many and incorporate the information into sustainable daily practices that worked for me.
In the end, it was journaling and meditation that provided the answers I needed to see further into myself. By keeping a journal for several years – I was finally able to understand my patterns – I could go back and say WOW, I’d been doing this or thinking that for a long time and apparently it wasn’t serving me in a good way. Once I saw the cycles I was stuck in for so long, I was able to navigate my way out of the darkness and into the light.
No one ever said this process of forgiveness would be easy, because nothing worth doing is, but if you consciously want to be free from all the negativity, ill health, depression, anxiety, and low self worth associated with holding onto things that no longer serve you, then find your path to a more loving way of being – I can tell you first hand – IT’S WORTH IT!
Blessings to you!
Copyright©2021-The Splendor of it all
THE SPLENDOR OF IT ALL 