MID-WEEK INSPIRATION #16
Tag: release
MID-WEEK INSPIRATION #14
FORGIVENESS
The word itself evokes numerous thoughts, feelings and often times a complete shutdown.
I understand firsthand what it means to forgive, but equally understand why some people simply cannot forgive something done to them or another close to them.
There is an invisible cloak wrapped around us all when we hang onto anger, this cloak serves to protect us, but can also smother us and keep us from reaching any type of inner peace/happiness.
I want to be very clear here, just because you forgive someone, doesn’t mean you have to forget or that you excuse the behavior that led to the action. Forgiveness is about YOU, not them. You must understand that forgiveness CAN happen even if others are unable to admit to any wrong doing. Again, it’s about your healing, not theirs. It’s about you taking back your power over you!
Forgiveness simply put, is the decision to let go of anger, resentment, and other thought forms such as sadness and confusion. These negative thoughts we associate with people or past situations in our lives can form such deep roots within, that often times we don’t even recognize that we are carrying them around, because we tend to associate them with everything going on externally and neglect to understand it really is something from within that manifests outward given enough time.
I had to take a good look in the mirror myself several years and ago and was faced with making the hard decisions about what I needed to change in my life in order to enjoy healthier relationships, feel less stress and anxiety, enjoy a body that wasn’t being beaten down all the time, and lastly, improve my overall outlook about life before all that negative energy swallowed me up – It was my ‘SNAP OUT OF IT’ moment and it was unimaginably humbling.
I had to learn that there was no way to move forward when I was being weighted down by the past. I had to convince myself that no matter what duty, responsibility, or obligation I felt toward others, I had to put myself first.
I had to give myself permission to detach from people who projected their negativity outward, because my loving heart always wanted to heal them and once I realized I could not save anyone but myself, this detachment became slightly easier. I will add that your perspective does change when you are no longer standing in an energy draining cesspool.
There are a number of ways one can begin this healing path to forgiveness and I encourage anyone who doesn’t feel able to manage this on their own, to seek out some type of support to help you navigate the emotions that will undoubtedly surface during the process.
I will share my personal experience though and say that in the beginning I had a good idea what my issues were, but I just wasn’t able to process them in a constructive way. I tried therapy for a little while, but ultimately it was my own curious nature that lead me to so many books, which I ferociously devoured one by one. No one book offered all the answers, but I was able to take bits and pieces from the many and incorporate the information into sustainable daily practices that worked for me.
In the end, it was journaling and meditation that provided the answers I needed to see further into myself. By keeping a journal for several years – I was finally able to understand my patterns – I could go back and say WOW, I’d been doing this or thinking that for a long time and apparently it wasn’t serving me in a good way. Once I saw the cycles I was stuck in for so long, I was able to navigate my way out of the darkness and into the light.
No one ever said this process of forgiveness would be easy, because nothing worth doing is, but if you consciously want to be free from all the negativity, ill health, depression, anxiety, and low self worth associated with holding onto things that no longer serve you, then find your path to a more loving way of being – I can tell you first hand – IT’S WORTH IT!
Blessings to you!
Copyright©2021-The Splendor of it all
We Are Enough!
We are in such times, that it is more important than ever, to understand that we are enough.
I have lived my life up until a few years ago, with the feeling of never being good enough. The yard sticks by which my life had been measured, I now realize were false and absolutely ridiculous, but of course it took me nearly a lifetime to understand that those measurements were created by someone other than myself.
The programming that started for each and every one of us the moment we came into being, combined with the expectation of others, society and even our parents were always and forever their projections onto us, but were never US.
The desire to be perfect…perfect children, perfect students, perfect employees, and perfect parents didn’t do me any good at all! I finally came to understand this was all an illusion and with that of course, came the heart breaking knowledge that I had been set up for failure from the word go.
I will admit that I was one of those people who spent a good part of my early life blaming everyone else for those failures. I can say from experience, this anger, constant feeling of inadequacy, and the desire to please others, genuinely held me back from finding my true self. I felt if I pleased everyone else it would all be alright and through that mindset, lost track of my individuality.
An example of this would be blaming my father for abandoning me after my parents divorced when I was five years old. Then I blamed my mother whom I felt emotionally abandoned by, because she lived a life of illness that started in her youth and followed her relentlessly throughout her life in one form or another.
Through the years I slowly began to understand that we all have struggles, some seen and many unseen. Once I released the emotions, the distorting fog lifted and I could see things quit differently! I saw that she is the strongest person I have ever known and worked against every obstacle to keep us together, all the while making sacrifices I could never have imagined to keep me safe and instill some sense of normalcy in our otherwise, chaotic life.
When I first became aware of this life altering realization, I was overwhelmed to say the least. It took years to accept responsibility for my own thoughts, emotional reactions, and feelings. I had lived a life where my emotions ruled everything I did. Often times those out of control emotions led me to make choices a secure, emotionally mature – clear thinking person would never make.
Facing yourself and asking the question “Who am I really” opens up the opportunity to explore yourself quietly from within. What we find inside is most certainly uncomfortable, but as we grow to understand that we are enough – the veil slowly lifts and we can see, feel and explore the world in a new way.
My big take away was that while anger, frustration, and insecurity ruled my life, there was no room for love, compassion, gratitude, or forgiveness.
Please feel free to share your moments of awakening. You never know who’s life you may touch along the way.
Blessing to you!
Copyright©2021-The Splendor of it all
Taking Responsibility
I have often been surprised in my life at just how few people I have met who actually take responsibility for their lives.
As I turn the corner on fifty-three years, I can look back and honestly say I have not always done so. It was always easier to blame someone else for all the miserable things that happened or the good things that never came my way.
A simple example is this: “If someone had done this or that I would have been a better person.” Or perhaps this one “If I had had different parents, I would have done something more with my life.”
No, actually it’s OUR fault we didn’t succeed! We are all born with the gift of CHOICE. We can choose to go right or left. We may not always be satisfied with the outcome, but we chose it and thereby must live with whatever consequences come from that decision. Good or Bad!
I will admit that like so many people, I too was a product of a dysfunctional home. Father left when I was five, my mother was sick and had serious addiction problems. There I said it out loud! Whew…Feels good, but I still cannot blame everything on their bad behavior.
Harsh words I know…It took me a VERY long time to accept this alternate reality. Being so much more aware now than I was twenty some odd years ago, I have to stand up and say, Yup that was all me. Once I did this, a great weight was lifted off of my shoulders. It was like a black veil had been pulled away from my face and I could now begin living the life I knew I was destined for all along.
Anyone can wake from their slumber. It just takes a certain commitment to let go. I have not spent countless hours or thousands of dollars on psychiatric care. Actually, the few times I attempted this type of therapy, they only ever wanted to write me a prescription and send me on my way. That simply wasn’t for me. However, let me be very clear here, I am in no way endorsing self medication and if you have serious problems, please seek professional help. This is my experience and I was able to come through by applying a little common sense and will-power.
I want to inspire anyone who is willing to take that leap of faith. I want to help everyone I can to regain their sense of self worth. We are all capable of so much. Most of us don’t even know it. It’s simply never too late to awaken!
Blessing to you!
Here are a couple of my favorite bits of reading material on how to release and let go.
The Power of Now by Eckart Tolle
Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping
Copyright © 2021 – The Splendor of it all
THE SPLENDOR OF IT ALL 